But, that’s pretty much what you do whenever you pop a painkiller.

When you take a painkiller it doesn’t take away the pain; it just makes your brain deaf and dumb to it.  If you have a headache caused by dehydration or neck tension, and you take a pain pill, it will relieve the symptom of pain because you won’t be able to feel it anymore, but it won’t change the fact that your body desperately needs more water, or that the anxiety and tension that you are accumulating at work every day is taking its toll on your health in other ways.  What’s worse is that many painkillers are stressful to the liver and kidneys, and so they add to the body’s burden, rather than being of any real help.  How ‘willy-nilly’ is your pill popping?  Are you numbing your period cramps every month and stunting your hangovers every weekend with paracetamol, aspirin, codeine or ibuprofen, like they were sweets?   This short-term avoidance of discomfort may be causing your body some serious long-term harm.  Medication is a wonderful thing when it is used correctly, but it can be dangerous and addictive if used incorrectly.  Bear in mind that it is possible to overdose on water.  Yes, that seemingly innocuous liquid stuff that makes up most of your body mass can also be harmful when you have too much of it. It’s known as overhydration, and although it’s not easy to achieve, it can cause you to go into a coma.  The point is:  If something as generic and “harmless” as water in excess can have such a detrimental effect on the body, imagine what the regular unnecessary use of pain medication can do.

What most of us do when we get a cold or the flu is also dreadful.  It’s never a convenient time to catch a cold or come down with a bad case of influenza, and we all know that it’s just something that you need to sit out and be patient with.  Most of us take a cocktail of over the counter drugs that treat the symptoms so that we can motor on at work and continue to function. These drugs treat the symptoms, but they can also weaken your immune system further and make you sick for longer.  The problem is that we then spread the virus further around the office by not staying in bed and resting, and our bodies take strain because they have to contend with fighting off the virus as well as coping with the harmful effects of the chemicals we’ve ingested to stop our noses running and our bodies aching.  The drugs trick you into feeling better than you are, so you can continue to push yourself, and this could even lead to strain on your internal organs (like your heart).  There’s a reason you feel terrible when you are sick.  Many symptoms present as an indication that your immune system is fighting the infection. Getting rid of these symptoms can hamper the body from doing what it’s supposed to in the fight against the disease.

We think we know best, but perhaps we should start trying to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us instead of chemically putting them on mute.  This isn’t necessarily an invitation to stop taking medication for chronic pain or discomfort.  It’s more of a call to action to be more conscience of when and where you take medication.  You may have a genuine need to take antidepressants and anxiolytic medication to be able to live your best life, but if you are swallowing “chill pills” every day just to take the edge off, you could be fraying other parts of your wellbeing you may not be aware of.

Your body is achy and gross and full of mucous and is yelling at you that you need some downtime.  It is blatantly stating that it needs you to isolate yourself and get plenty of rest.  That is why it is presenting all the symptoms that it does.  It hasn’t lost its mind since coming into contact with the contagion and is now trying to symptomatically and systematically destroy you.  Pain is there as an indicator.  It’s a message from the body that says: “Yo, dude/dudette, something is not lekker!”

So instead of plying yourself with all these meds that are doing nothing for the real cause of your “dis-ease”, why not try and pay attention to what is causing the pain and problems in the first place?

If you have a condition that requires medication, use it.  That’s what it’s there for.  But if you’ve twisted your ankle and feel tempted to pop some painkillers so you can still go out dancing, that’s not such a bright idea because you will cause even more damage and your body won’t be able to tell you.  Sadly, some professional athletes and dancers have done irreparable harm to their bodies by dulling their pain receptors with medication and doing even further harm to injuries.

So, the next time you see your poorly reflection in the medicine cabinet, ask yourself if you need to numb-out that achy sensation or dry out that runny nose.  Popping a few 1000mgs of vitamin C and bonding with your duvet may be a much better option.

Toxic shock syndrome is often associated with tampon misuse or a lack of vaginal hygiene. But there is a lot more to this rare, yet extremely dangerous bacterial infection than is commonly understood.  According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, the earliest cases of toxic shock syndrome involved women who used tampons. However, today less than half of the cases are linked to tampon use. Toxic shock syndrome can also occur with skin infections, burns, and after surgery. The condition can also affect children, postmenopausal women, and men.

Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is an acute septicemia that occurs when toxic forms of bacteria known as Staphylococcus aureus bacterium manage to get into the bloodstream and rapidly overwhelm the immune system. These bacteria can enter the bloodstream via surgery, a wound or other type of abrasion and although rare when this infection occurs the consequences can be severe as sufferers often need to be hospitalized to prevent organ failure from the septicemia that ensues.   Treatment includes powerful antibiotics being administered intravenously, and sadly many cases of TSS have resulted in fatalities.

When it comes to tampon use, all cases of TSS have been linked to tampons made of viscose rayon and mostly those of the super-absorbent variety, created for heavy flow menstruation. Dr. Philip Tierno, Professor of Microbiology and Pathology at New York University has ascertained that tampons made from 100% cotton are safer to use as they have not been linked to any TSS infections at all.

Hygiene practice and leaving the tampon in for periods of 8 hours or more can contribute to the risk of bacteria, but the frequent exchange of tampons made of synthetic fibers have also been linked to TSS.  Infection is believed to occur when these tampons cause micro-abrasions in the vagina, which allow the bacteria to enter the bloodstream.

After 20-year old Amy Elifritz had died from TSS infection, her mother decided to create a website called www.you-are-loved.org to create awareness about TSS and share the stories of TSS survivors.  Here are some facts about TSS that you will find on the site:

Symptoms of TSS

• Sore throat
• Aching muscles
• High temperature; over 102 degrees F (38.8 degrees C)
• Vomiting
• Headache
• Watery diarrhea
• Red rash
• Confusion
• Dizziness
• Very low blood pressure

Only one or two symptoms may occur. They do not necessarily occur all at once and may not persist.

What You Should Do?

• Remove the tampon (save it if possible)
• Seek IMMEDIATE medical attention
• Inform the doctor that you have been using tampons
• Take a TSS information leaflet with you

To Reduce the Risk of TSS

• Only use tampons made of organic cotton
• Use the lowest absorbency needed at each stage of your period
• Avoid using tampons continuously during a period. Alternate with sanitary pads at night, so the toxins have time to dissipate
• Use a pad at the end of your period
• Change tampons every 4 to 6 hours
• Don’t use tampons if you’ve had any unusual discharge
• Wash your hands before and after use and handle the tampon as little as possible
• Alert your family and friends to the symptoms and emergency action required
• If you’ve had TSS never use tampons again

See more at http://www.bepreparedperiod.com/blog/toxic-shock-syndrome-%E2%80%93-what-every-woman-should-know/#sthash.D51jAGGH.dpuf

Ronel, who is in a same-sex relationship with Sonja, says they knew once they got married they wanted children. After all the paperwork and preparation was complete, they welcomed two girls into their family.

What inspired you to adopt?

Sonja and I have known each other for many years as we saw each other from time to time in the same circle of friends. It was very clear from the start that we share the same ideals and beliefs, which is why a lesbian relationship is very much like any other relationship where two people love each other and want to be with each other for the rest of time. When we eventually got together 20 years later (yes; we didn’t give up), we knew that this was going to be a lifelong partnership and like any other couple we started talking about marriage and children. We wanted to have a family of our own.

We went for six artificial inseminations with donor sperm and then we decided that we needed to change tact and started the adoption process through CT Child Welfare Society.

How long did the process take?

With the first adoption, a baby girl, the whole process took less time than being pregnant. If I recall correctly, the ‘admin’ stage took about 2-3 months and the ‘waiting game’ less than six. With our second adoption, it took even less time. Within two months we had our precious little girl!

What were some of the biggest challenges you had to face?

Cost. You don’t know what to expect regarding how much it will cost. Even though we did not go the private-adoption route (due to financial reasons) we still got a hefty bill to pay, and the scary part is was that you have to pay the first half upfront for the process to proceed, and the second half you have to have available by the time of placement. The amount is calculated on a sliding scale regarding your income and expenses.

Secondly, the process might feel tedious with having to attend group sessions and then individual interviews and home visits, etc. but once it is all done you realise that it wasn’t all that bad. Just take it one step at a time and they will guide you through it.  Something to also keep in mind is that the paperwork can take years to finalise. You will be issued with a letter from the court to confirm the baby was placed in your care, but the final adoption order can take up to two years in SA, during which time you will still be using the baby’s original birth certificate and names on any legal documentation.

Thirdly, even though for us this wasn’t a huge issue, explaining to family and friends that you are going to adopt and that it might be a child of colour can be a big problem for some people. Some concerns were raised by the fact that there will be no father figure in the family and even though this is a very valid concern, it can be mitigated by having your male family members and male friends play a very active role in your child’s life. To adopt a white baby is possible, but the cost is very high as it is typically done via private adoption and you wait much longer. In our minds, as long as the baby was healthy we were happy.

What advice would you give to any other lesbian couple that is considering adoption?

Make sure that your relationship is healthy. Any relationship takes the strain when a baby arrives, but adoption adds a bit of extra pressure on a relationship. The process can take long, and the waiting is stressful, but once you are approved and on the waiting list it is just a matter of time. It is not IF you are going to have a baby but rather WHEN, and that makes it so much easier. Prepare financially for the process as you have to pay some money upfront, the rest at placement and then, of course, you have to plan for the baby (room, furniture and everything else). While on maternity leave you also will not be able to claim UIF until the final adoption order has been issued. Be prepared for others people’s opinion as they will give it without asking.  Just smile and ‘wave’ as everybody has a right to their opinion, and so do you.

What do people need to know about adoption that most do not?

If you opt to have the placement done for a baby younger than 60 days, you do run the risk of losing that child as the biological mother can change her mind up to 60 days. In both our adoptions, we asked for a baby of 60 days or older as we did not want to risk losing the baby after a few days. You are entitled to maternity leave like anybody else – that is the Law. Even though you are both female, only one parent is allowed to take maternity leave. The other parent can take paternity leave which differs from each employer.

Only once you have the final adoption order can you claim UIF, which will then be paid in a lump sum.

You are not allowed to take the baby out of the country until such time that you have received the final adoption order and baby’s name, and surname is changed. Until the final approval order is received, you will have to use baby’s original birth certificate and name/surname for things like Dr’s records, Medical Aid, Testament, etc. Only once you have the new birth certificate can you update those records accordingly. You need consent from the social worker and or Hospital Administrator for any operations and or evasive medical treatment as the baby is not yet legally adopted by you.

“Choosing” your child doesn’t happen as it does when you go to take a dog or cat (LOL) – they don’t ‘display’ the babies, and you do not get to choose the cutest one. They look at your profile (which is part of the work you do up front), and they then will review these profiles as and when a baby becomes available. You will get a call ‘out of the blue’ to say that there is a potential baby for you after which the social worker will tell you about baby’s background and if you are willing to go ahead after hearing the ‘facts’ you will be able to meet the child at the emergency parents. If you decide to go ahead with the adoption, placement can take anything between one day up to two weeks depending on the situation.

On the day that you go to collect baby, the social worker MUST accompany you

What was the highlight (best part) of this experience?

Receiving that much-awaited call and then meeting our baby for the first time. It was the best and most scary moment(s) of our life. And then, of course, the day that you receive your final adoption order in the post. The letter reads: “…as if born to you….” and you know that nobody can ever take your baby away from you.

How has the adoption changed the dynamic of your relationship with each other and those close to you?

My mom is very Afrikaans and ‘old school’ and getting used to the idea of a black grandchild did scare her initially, but now she loves them with all her heart. She still gets upset when people stare at us in the shops or when they make comments, but I tell her just to ignore it as the positive outweighs the negatives by far. I try to see the humour in it all especially when people address me in Afrikaans and then switch to English when they address my son and him very politely tells them that he is Afrikaans.

Sonja’s family is from Johannesburg, and they don’t see us often so for them it is still a bit strange.  You would see them rather shake my son’s hand than kissing him on the mouth as the race issue is still front and centre in their lives.  BUT we raise our kids to show respect to other people even if they do not respect you.

Sonja and I have moved through various stages during our relationship.  From loving each other from afar for years to falling madly in love and enjoying each other 24/7 to getting married and adopting two beautiful children all in the space of seven years and now being content with our lives as soul mates.  This process has brought us even closer together.

Tell us a short story about the process that you will never forget

Our kids have filled our life with joy, and we believe that they ‘found’ us as we were always meant to be their parents.  The process might seem overwhelming, but it is like anything else in life; take it one step at a time and what is meant to be, will be.

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Ava and Symi’s adoption story

Ava and I had met nine years before we fell in love. We were both “otherwise occupied”. She was straight and married, and I was gay and married.  After we had both been in a different place in our lives, I went to visit my straight friend in Cape Town – and two weeks later, we were giddily in love, she wasn’t straight anymore, and no longer just friends either. She moved to Johannesburg in less than two months.

Symi

What inspired you to adopt?

For the first time, I wanted to raise a child with someone, but we both felt we were past our sell-by dates (39) to fall pregnant, and so the “old-fashioned way” no longer seemed an option.

Coincidentally, the social worker we’d been chatting to on and off, for four years, came to a dance camp Ava was instructing. I was the kitchen boss for the camp, and Michelle (the social worker) had time to see us under pressure, utterly exhausted, looking after 13 women pushed beyond their emotional and physical limits, and she saw something in us that we didn’t at that point. She saw that we remained nurturing, patient, and kind and that we were connecting with people on whatever level they needed us to.

The week after the camp, Michelle was in Johannesburg for a training event and came to stay with us for a couple of days. In that time, she observed us without the “audience”. Just us, in our ordinary day-to-day lives. She went home and then called us the following Monday and said that she knew we sucked at paperwork, so she would help us to get it done. We submitted all the required forms in a few days.

In retrospect, Michelle didn’t place Buhle with us, she placed us with Buhle. Buhle (Boo), is an active little girl, much smaller than the other children her age.

How long did the process take?

After completing the paperwork, checks, and visits, we were approved as holiday parents for Boo. However, she is still legally under the guardianship of the children’s home. We have a six-month window to get the adoption process sorted, which has given us an opportunity to get settled into our new routine as a family.

What were some of the biggest challenges you had to face?

We’ve dealt with two social workers.The first is Buhle’s social worker at the children’s home, and the other is to keep an eye on her, and on us, during the placement. If we decide to go with the foster care option, we’ll always have a social worker assigned to us.

The placement social worker was friendly and kind, but because we’re a lesbian couple, the question “Who’s the Daddy?” came up. We’re both CIS Gendered and happy to be the mommies, so we felt she could have benefited from some sensitivity training. We’re also Wiccan, and that was another conversation that could have been more tactful dealt with from her side, as she told us that she would prefer that we raised Boo as a Christian. Luckily, a call to the children’s home confirmed that this would not be a prerequisite for the adoption to take place. She was just putting us through our paces.

Boo has had to make massive adjustments to a new environment and to being a member of our family.  It took her a while to deal with the loss of the world she used to know and has only recently started talking about “At my old house,” after three months. She’s settled into preschool, even though it’s English, and she was raised Afrikaans initially.  She’s like any other typical 4-year-old girl pushing boundaries and has a lip when things don’t go her way, but her laughter lights up the universe.”

We realised when we went to meet Boo; we weren’t going to fetch a dress on “appro.” There could be no turning back.

What were your biggest challenges?

We’ve never really been bothered by people who judge us. At Boo’s school, there are children with two daddies and kids whose parents don’t share the same skin colour. It’s no longer a strange thing. We’re teaching our child to respond to comments and criticism; much like any other alternative family would.

What advice would you give to any other lesbian couple that is considering adoption?

There’s a big difference between being prepared to be in a relationship, and being ready to be parents. Work your way through both stages first before considering adoption. Figure out who the other person in your relationship is, and who you are, because kids don’t fix relationship problems; they highlight them for you.

Adopting a child means taking on their hurt, disappointments and ideas about the world around them. You shouldn’t begin with an ideal picture of how it’s going to be in your head and expect the child to comply. You have to fetch them where they are and love them, embrace them and balance them from that point of departure. You need to go into the process understanding that you control almost nothing because it’s a journey without GPS. I recommend working with an NGO or an organization like ABBA Adoptions.

Masturbation also has many benefits, which is why Madonna, Janet Jackson and other divas have sung it praises up and down the pop charts.

It’s a good way to love yourself and let go of issues that have been bugging you, as Hailee Steinfeld professes in her recent hit, “Love myself

Hailee sings: 

I’m gonna touch the pain away
I know how to scream my own name
Scream my name
I love me
Gonna love myself, no, I don’t need anybody else!

These sentiments are echoed by The Pussycat Dolls in “I don’t need a man”:

I don’t need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don’t need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don’t need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain’t around

Experts reckon that masturbation is the best way to figure out what it is that you like sexually, which can boost your self-confidence and heighten the sex you have with your partner.

Tori Amos gets that in her song “Icicle.”

And when my hand touches myself
I can finally rest my head
And when they take from his body
I think I’ll take from mine instead
Getting off, getting off while they’re all downstairs

Masturbation is also good for your vagina because the contractions you experience have a similar effect as Kegel exercises, which strengthen the pelvic floor; this can also prevent urinary incontinence.  No wonder Cyndi Lauper celebrates it in her classic “She-bop”.

Hey, hey, they say I better get a chaperone,
Because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone.
No, I won’t worry, and I won’t fret,
Ain’t no law against it yet.
Oop, she bop, she bop.

Self-loving can even be good for your health!  Stats show that women who regularly orgasm are less likely to suffer from heart disease and type-2 diabetes.  This list of musos musing about masturbation wouldn’t be complete without this classic from the DiVinyls. So, sing it with me:

I don’t want anybody else,
And when I think about you I touch myself.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, aah.

It started with a mutual love of literature. She wrote such wonderful stories, imbued with a strong but gentle spirituality. The first time I saw her it felt like I was dreaming. That old cliché had become reality- for the rest of that day it felt like a spell had been cast over me. It was some kind of soul connection and the next thing we knew, we were writing letters to one another every day and those letters became a way to write our story as we lived it.

Because of the intensity of the relationship, sex wasn’t really a priority for us. As it turned out, the stars aligned for only one sexual encounter. It was incredibly meaningful to us both. We explored one another’s bodies with the curiosity of children and when we looked in each other’s eyes I could see all she had been through, and it was clear that she could really SEE me. We were both really into each other that day, and were both really, really close to coming… but we didn’t.  I remember sucking on her right nipple, and getting a bit carried away, which she found a little scary! It was as awkward as these things always are. I couldn’t apply the most intimate details of my body to hers. We should have gone down on each other, but I guess I wasn’t ready. It felt like two of the same kind of spark desperately trying to make fire. Afterwards, I remember feeling such relief, thinking “ I am a lesbian now!” which ‘explained’ all my past traumatic relationships, but the hard truth is that I am more straight than not. And in the end, this broke her heart.

Our connection was very real and I don’t regret a second of it. But now that I am older I can see how there were too many expectations, which inevitably results in tricky projections too. If two people (who have had really crappy childhoods) want to be loved so much, it’s as if life only becomes meaningful when you have found The One. So when you fall, you fall hard and when it’s over, well, it’s worse than death. Maybe the real lesson here is don’t go out with a straight woman, but I have found that you have to try something to really know how you feel.

If you know what I’m talking about, if you also have been overwhelmed by this kind of all-consuming love then you will also know that it’s difficult to say what you like sexually. But I believe it’s vitally important. It can break the spell, in a good way, by bringing you to that sacred place where what the body wants meets what the heart needs. It’s not about making demands, but simply to talk about what turns you on. I am a fairly outspoken sort of person but up to that point I had been conditioned into allowing the man to take the lead while having sex. So it was strange (and so necessary) to have that role reversed!

Of course you may be shy (especially if it’s a new relationship) but no matter whether gay, straight or bi, it takes guts to say what you want. It should never be a demand (“Hand me those handcuffs!”) or a condition (“If you go down on me I’ll go down on you”) but it’s really amazing to feel free to talk about your fantasies or say “I love it when you…” This is not only empowering for you as a woman, it brings you closer together because if the relationship is based on equality, there is nothing that will make your woman happier than to really turn you on. Hell, it has taken me many years to realise this, and I have been in my current relationship for over 12 years yet only now have I come out and said THIS is what I like.

Don’t fight the cheese

Some ideas are clichéd because they work – every time. Don’t be afraid to do something that’s been done before.  Preparing a bath with candles, bubbles, ylang ylang aromatherapy oil, rose petals and Diana Krall in the background will STILL earn you serious brownie points. You can add some intimacy by washing your lady’s hair (can you say “head massage?”) and maybe even giving her a hair treatment. There are some relatively inexpensive mint shampoos that give a fantastic tingling sensation.

Nothing says ‘I love you’, like cake

You may be Gordon Ramsay’s worst nightmare in the kitchen, but baking something for your lover can be really sweet (as long as you don’t leave a mess in the kitchen you expect her to clean). Muffins, flapjacks or a classic chocolate cake decorated in your ‘boo’s’ favourite sweets will probably get her heart-custard pumping for your pudding-face.

Make her feel treasured

Planning a little treasure hunt around the house with little notes and affordable prezzies along the journey will definitely put a smile on her lips. You can even combo the hunt with a bath or cake as the final destination ‘treasure’.

Heebie jeebies lead to cuddles

Hiring a couple of horror movies and then prepping snacks, PJs, and a duvet on the couch (weather permitting) is a great way to spend some time clinging on to one another.

Weird but ‘personal’ is good

If your lady is fond of brightly coloured socks, odd-shaped candles or has a collection of vintage cabbage patch kid cards, presenting her with one of these will be a surefire way to show your affection of what makes her unique.

Once again, the cliché ‘it’s the thought that counts’, really does make all the difference, and it could get the same results as a pricey restaurant or ‘weekend getaway’ – without extending the famine to the rest of February.

It’s a sneaky, highly contagious DNA virus with 170 known strains able to infect humans. The virus establishes productive infections in certain cells of the skin or mucous membranes, and often when it does set up shop you may not even know it is there. Most HPV infections cause no physical symptoms; but in some people the infections do become clinical. These symptoms can range from genital warts to some strains of HPV that can cause cancers of the cervix, vagina, vulva, penis and anus.

HPV 16 and 18 are believed to be responsible for more than 70% of all cases of cervical cancer and because of this statistic and the ease, with which HPV is spread, it is considered a high-risk STI and should be on every woman or girl’s radar.

Transmission

HPV is contracted through skin contact, with more than 40 strains specific to the genital area. It was previously assumed that HPV was only contracted through sexual intercourse via heterosexual and MSM (men who have sex with men) interactions but studies have shown that there is a clear link between WSW, even those with no prior male sexual contact, and the transmission of HPV.

Symptoms

Because the infection is only obvious once clinical, the virus spreads easily and undetected via the majority of people who contract it. However, external genital warts may show around and inside the vagina and anus and should be seen to by a doctor immediately.

Limiting exposure to HPV and Cervical Cancer

Abstinence

Obviously a surefire way of reducing risk is by not engaging in any forms of sexual intercourse that might involve skin contact, but if cloistering yourself is not realistic you can focus on alternative forms of limiting contact.

Limited number of partners

Limiting the number of partners with whom you have any kind of intercourse lowers the possibility of exposure to HPV.  A frank discussion with potential partners about HPV and precautions needed to avoid transmission may be a good start.

Condoms and contraceptive with skin contact limitation

Although they do not entirely prevent transmission, all forms of skin limiting barriers decrease the chances of transmission. These may include male and female condoms, dental dams and surgical gloves (rather than the woolen kind).

Sex toys and paraphernalia

Barriers should be introduced into sex aids and toys as well, as toys that are shared have the potential of carrying the virus. Regularly disinfecting your toys will decrease the risk of exposure.

Pap Smear

Although warts around the genital area are relatively easy to spot, the abnormal cervical cell construction that leads to cancer requires a deeper, more thorough examination; namely a Pap smear. A gynecologist should administer the procedure and sexually active women should have a Pap smear every 3 years, regardless of sexual orientation.

Vaccination

The HPV vaccination is considered the most effective tool in the fight against HPV and cervical cancer. This vaccine trading under the names Gardasil and Cervarix vaccinate, primarily targets against HPV 16 and 18 (the big, bad cancer inducing strain). Previously the vaccination was recommended only to younger women, who were not yet sexually active, but this view is changing and nowadays anybody with a cervix of any age is encouraged to have one because women who are already sexually active may have been exposed to one or more of the HPV types but not necessarily with all HPV types prevented by the vaccines, so most would still get protection by being vaccinated.

The vaccinations may not protect against all strains of HPV but Gardasil has been approved to protect against 90% of genital wart infections.

Where to vaccinate

In early 2015 the Department of Health conducted a drive to protect young girls from getting cervical cancer caused by the human papillomavirus. All girls in grade 4 that were 9 years and older were to be vaccinated, provided that their parents signed a consent form. The aim was to vaccinate an estimated 500 000 girls in 18 000 public schools.

Both Gardasil and Cervarix are available at private pharmacies but require a prescription and administration by a registered practitioner. The vaccine is generally administered in 3 doses and the cost of the vaccine in the private sector is between R500 – R750 per dose. The vaccination is currently not available in public healthcare institutions.

In short, you may already be infected with one or two strains of HPV, but getting vaccinated may just prove to protect you from one of the more dangerous strains. Why not make an appointment for a pap smear this STI Awareness Week and put yourself in the know?

Let me share one app experience with you. It was super fun hooking up with my then girlfriend (it lasted three years) on Thunderbolt City. I know, the name cracks me up as well, but thunder is what it gave me. It was the winter of 2010, the year of the Soccer World Cup in South Africa. I was spending long nights out at fan parks and was coming back to an empty and cold home. The idea of having someone special waiting for me when I got home sent me to Thunderbolt City. I made a few acquaintances pretty quickly and then BOOM! I was dating and enjoying things that lovers do.

Online dating doesn’t always end up this way, sometimes prospective lovers don’t always upload a profile picture so you don’t have a visual to work from, you end up liking somebody just from their written word and online conversations before you get to meet them in flesh, which might be good or bad. I have met my fair share of weirdo’s. Most recently I came across a woman who preferred sexual intimacy while fully clothed. Needless to say I ran the other direction very fast.

There is another cool dating app called Scissr, the name is enough to excites any woman. All you need is your phone and all profiles have pictures attached to them so you have an idea of what your prospective lover looks like (that is if they are using their authentic image to begin with).

Scissr has introduced to me women from all over the world in an unimaginable way, only one or three swipes and you’re in a little heaven chatting to various women. This app is simply priceless because it zooms in to possible prospective lovers in your immediate area and you can adjust your location and reach as you wish. Sometimes I choose to view locals during a certain time of the day and then expand my search area as far wide as Japan after hours for fun. At least that’s what I do so as not to get tempted and get carried away by conjuring scissoring scenes on my mind all day long while I’m at work.

To me, dating apps are the best way to meet women, safe and fast. So if you need a little help in getting back on that dating horse, go with the apps. If you think about it, you ‘Gotta be on Scissr to be scissored (my own catch phrase, thank-you very much).

Lest we forget how far we have come. It was in 1990 that the first Pride March took place in Johannesburg, and we have celebrated and commemorated this day in earnest, year upon year since then with the numbers of pride-goers swelling and multiplying with each year.

It is a form of expression that hasn’t lost its relevance. Its relevance is still palpable because there is still a need to present ourselves in the spaces that ordinarily shun our queer bodies. Before we go on any further, have any of you ever wondered what keeps sending us back to Pride over and over again, yeah some people have only done a couple or even no Pride at all but almost every queer body knows and has heard about Pride. The big question then becomes: what does pride truly mean to each of us? Does the existence of numerous pride marches give a glimpse of the varying ways in which we choose to express how we celebrate or remember this unmissable day?

During the recent Soweto as well as Pretoria pride I ventured out and asked different people what being at Pride means to them, here is a glimpse into what some said:

 “At First, I used to come here to celebrate the struggles we have all been through but lately I’m getting confused about which pride to attend because they are so many.” 

 “I feel safe when I march with many people who are like me, it’s like we are saying we are here in numbers and we belong here as well.” 

 “I’m not ashamed to say, for me it’s all about the fun and the turn-up, that’s why I’m here.” 

 “As an activist and feminist I come to the pride to celebrate our strides and reconnect with other activists and have a good time while at it, I like making a point of dressing up and looking good.” 

 “Hey come hell or high water I’ll always attend all the pride marches I can, I get inspired just by being here, you meet all sorts of happy people here and business deals take place here, I have had a few good opportunities from attending pride myself.” 

Amidst all the pride festivities isn’t it worth slipping it into regular pride conversation how mindful one has to be of guzzling gallons without having taken some precautionary measures of some sort. Its usually advisable to drink a fair amount of liquids, non-alcoholic at this point I must add, eat right, a protein high meal before a wild turn-up weekend, this way I’m told you avoid getting a hellish hangover the next day. For whatever reason you celebrate Pride, be proud of who you are and let your true colours shine through 24/7.

Happy Pride!